Why Walking Worthy?

It seems like an unusual title for a blog – Walking Worthy.  I agree that it is, so I want to give the reason for the title (to those of you who are interested).

Many of you may know that a week before Christmas I broke my ankle in two places.  You can see the video of how it happened here.  I had surgery to repair the bones a few days later and began the recovery process.  In the weeks following the first broken bones in my 31 years of life, I found myself in a strange place with God.

There were several issues that I had to deal with along with changes that I had to make to cope with being unable to walk.  Lack of sleep due to pain and nerve damage in my ankle contributed heavily to what I feel was a moderate depression.  Being awake at all hours of the night plays tricks on your mind and emotions.  There were several nights that I was up arguing and crying out to God in exhausting frustration.  I didn’t seem to get any answers.

About three weeks into recovery, I realized that I was in a very sad place.  It’s okay to be in those places for a time, and I believe now that The Lord had me there for a reason.  I had not been to church or had much time and interaction with my church family due to my near-invalid status.  I was unable to concentrate for long periods of time or read more than a few pages at once because of the nagging pain and zombie-like state I was in from lack of sleep.  So one morning I woke up after a couple hours of rest and got on the computer to try to do some studying (again a near impossibility).  All of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere (in reality, by the Holy Spirit), I was confronted with the fact that I had not worshiped God at all since my accident.  I had not thanked Him or praised Him with my voice or heart in weeks. I was so focused on my situation that I did not consider what The Lord might be doing in me through all of this.  It was a time of difficult introspection which God used to bring me to a place of repentance that I had never been before.

Some of you know that I am a guy who loves to sing all the time, particularly in worship, and I found it heartbreaking that I had neglected it for so long.  Sensing that I needed to sing LOUD in worship, I started looking on YouTube for some videos that I could sing along with.  I found this version of Revelation Song, which is an amazing song about the worthiness of Jesus.  The first lines of it played:

Worthy is the
Lamb who was slain
Holy, Holy, is He
Sing a new song,
to Him who sits on
Heaven’s Mercy Seat

Just hearing those words hit me like a sledge hammer in the chest.  The selfishness and laziness of heart that I had displayed to my King for a long time, well before the accident, was revealed to me in that moment.  All I could do was weep bitterly.  It’s still all I can do to not cry every time I hear those words.  Colossians chapter one, particularly verse 10 which is our church verse, came to my mind.

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.  He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
Colossians 1:9-14 (ESV)

Graciously, that day The Lord once again brought me to His mercy seat.  He reminded me of who He is and what He has done and How worthy He is.  He has used this season to change me forever. 

It’s as if He said to me, “I’m not going to let you walk again until you remember how worthy I am of each step you take.”

It is overwhelming to think on the worthiness of Jesus Christ.  It should pierce our hearts to know that we have all treated Him with such contempt.  My hope is that we will see more clearly the worthiness of this great Savior, and walk worthy in response to His gracious dealings with us.

I want to thank you for reading this post.  Now that you know why I call this blog Walking Worthy, I hope you will join me in encouraging others to do just that.

Blessings,

Jeff

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